Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
third nipple confirmed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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