Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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