I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
