i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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