Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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