it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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