Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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