I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
