OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize