I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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