vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
