I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
It's never too late to be topless.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
