it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
