Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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