I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
