My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
