Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
be right there i have to get my cape
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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