Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
