I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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