It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
