In America we eat man semen.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
