dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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