Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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