his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize