Do vagina's smell?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
