Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
