all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
