butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
