Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
You made out with two different species that night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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