All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Randomize
