i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
