oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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