guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
