I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
