Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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(972): View more from Texas

I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"

(1-972): View more from Texas

More like "Chia Pet"

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(315): View more from New York

So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together

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(415): View more from California

Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.

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(760): View more from California

I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.

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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.

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