I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize