how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
