Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I just threw up on my dentist
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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