just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
