a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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