did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just found puke in my bra..
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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