i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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