its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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