Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
