Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dignity is for republicans.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
