Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
