That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I wish you could order shots online.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
