There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
