Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
