GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
This is my gift to your gina
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
