I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
