He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize