All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize