Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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