can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I hate all girls vehemently.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
