are you still at the devil's house?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
