so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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