Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
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