We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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