oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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