I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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