I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
