Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
