My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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