Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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