The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
