you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
