I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
