Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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