I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
