First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
