is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
should my penis look like a turkey
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Randomize
