i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize