When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
