Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
That accounts for only three of the penises
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Randomize
