my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize