Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
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