Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
