do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
