47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
there is glitter all over my balls
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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