everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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