he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
