Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
