I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
