I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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