My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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