Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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