i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
