Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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