Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
