that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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